What to do?

I am writing you to voice my concern and amazement over a piece of mail I received a few weeks ago from the US Government. It started back in May when I received a letter from the IRS stating that the Bush Administration, with the help of the US Congress had passed through an initiative to revamp our dull and droopy economy. It would come in the form of a $300 check for every tax payer, and would allow us spend money and put some much needed oxygen into our blood.

The letter promised to send out a check right after they got to the bottom of who deserved and who was not deserving of this economic advantage program. Like lots of other mail that is deemed not to be pertinent to myself, this letter made its way right into the waste bin. I am in Holland, so of course it was recycled.

Months passed and spring turned to summer, and out of the middle of nowhere, I got a piece of stunning, shocking and joy-giving mail. It was a technicolored check with Lady Liberty labeled "Economic Stimulus Package 2008." I was amazed. Who would have thought that someone who had not paid US taxes since 2006, who had only lived in the US a few months in 2006, and who had barely paid a few hundred dollars taxes in 2006 would ever be qualified for such a gift.

After the five minutes of excitement that anyone would have when receiving a 300$ check for nothing, I realized that this type of spending is indicative of a faulty and most importantly costly bureaucracy.

How am I supposed to stimulate the American economy? What can I buy to make things better in the US? An I-phone? A ford (or a keychain to a ford)?